1 00:00:05,790 --> 00:00:07,190 um 2 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,020 Ah, there it is. 3 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,520 My house. 4 00:00:58,020 --> 00:01:01,220 That good old Cleveland Street. How could I ever forget it? 5 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,240 But there I am. 6 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,740 With that dumb round face and that stupid stocking cap. 7 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,120 Oh, but no matter. 8 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,980 Christmas was on its way. 9 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:17,400 Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas around which the entire kid year 10 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:46,040 Downtown Holman was prepared for its yearly bacchanalia of peace on earth and 11 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,200 goodwill to men. 12 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:08,699 Don't tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born. 13 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:41,730 Higbee's Corner Window was traditionally a high -water mark of the pre 14 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:42,730 -Christmas season. 15 00:02:44,270 --> 00:02:49,750 First -nighters packed earmuff to earmuff, jostled in wonderment before a 16 00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:56,170 golden, tinkling display of mechanized, electronic joy. 17 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:42,900 There it is. 18 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:49,280 The holy grail of Christmas gifts. The Red Rider 200 -shot range model air 19 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,280 rifle. 20 00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:52,820 And there he is. 21 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,720 Red Rider himself. 22 00:03:55,140 --> 00:04:00,540 In his hand was the knurled stock of as coolly deadly looking a piece of 23 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,540 weaponry as ever I had laid eyes on. 24 00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:13,700 For weeks, I had been scheming to get my mitts on one of these fearsome blue 25 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:19,779 steel beauties. My fevered brain seethed with the effort of trying to come up 26 00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:24,940 with the infinitely subtle devices necessary to implant the Red Rider range 27 00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:28,960 model air rifle indelibly into my parents' subconscious. 28 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:18,660 Grabbing for her copy of Look magazine, would find herself cleverly trapped into 29 00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,240 reading a Red Rider sales pitch. 30 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,000 They traded Bullfrog. I don't believe it. 31 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,440 What's that? 32 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,060 For Christ's sake, the Sox traded Bullfrog. The only player they got for 33 00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:35,620 Schottenhofer. Poor -eyed Schottenhofer. A utility infielder. 34 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:38,960 And a whole odd damn team utility infielder. 35 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:40,220 That's nice. 36 00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:41,900 Ralphie, on the... 37 00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,210 Did you hear about this guy who swallowed a yo -yo? 38 00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:49,030 Swallowed a yo -yo? Yeah, on a bed. 39 00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:51,430 Some clodhopper down in Griffith, Indiana. 40 00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:55,430 Boy, they write the silliest things in the newspapers. 41 00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:57,350 What do you mean, silly? 42 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:01,070 I mean, that's real news. That's not like a politics lot. 43 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:06,730 What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse? 44 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:09,330 Victor. His name is Victor. 45 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:10,850 How the hell did you know that? 46 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,410 Everybody knows that. 47 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:16,340 Another one of your silly puzzles. 48 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,360 Yeah, it's another one of our silly puzzles. 49 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:23,300 Could be worth 50 ,000 bucks. 50 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,500 What kind is it this time? 51 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,600 Name the great characters in American literature. 52 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:33,680 Victor? Yeah? The Lone Ranger's nephew's horse? 53 00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:38,700 Meanwhile, I struggle for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, 54 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,620 subtle. Let's say they saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store. 55 00:06:48,430 --> 00:06:51,010 looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. 56 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:56,810 I could tell I was in imminent danger of overplaying my hand. 57 00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:59,550 Casually, I switched tactics. 58 00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:01,090 Hey, Dad. 59 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,430 I'll bet you never guess what I got you for Christmas. 60 00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:08,230 A new furnace. 61 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:11,590 That's a good one, Dad. 62 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:17,880 My old man was one of the most feared furnace fighters in northern Indiana. 63 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,520 Hurry up, you're going to be late for school. 64 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,080 Yeah, yeah, I'm running late already. 65 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,060 Round one was over. 66 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:29,400 Parents won, kids zip. 67 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,420 I could feel the Christmas noose beginning to tighten. 68 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:36,760 Maybe what happened next was inevitable. 69 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,740 Ralphie? What would you like for Christmas? 70 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,720 Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out. I want an official Red Ryder carbon 71 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,520 action 200 -year -old range -barrel air rifle. 72 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:47,680 No. 73 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:52,840 Shoot your eye out. Oh, no. It was the classic mother BB gun block. 74 00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:54,940 You'll shoot your eye out. 75 00:07:55,200 --> 00:08:00,440 That deadly phrase uttered many times before by hundreds of mothers was not 76 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,940 surmountable by any means known to kiddom. But such was my mania. 77 00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:10,390 my desire for a Red Ryder carbine, that I immediately began to rebuild the dyke. 78 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:12,390 I was just kidding. 79 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,650 Even though Flick is getting one. 80 00:08:15,110 --> 00:08:18,950 I guess I just like some Tinker Toys. I couldn't believe my own ears. Tinker 81 00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,610 Toys? She'd never buy it. 82 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,670 BB guns are dangerous. 83 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:25,050 I don't want anybody shooting his eye out. 84 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,090 Randy, what did you eat? 85 00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:33,929 There are starving people in China. 86 00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:48,410 Mothers know nothing about creeping marauders burrowing through the snow 87 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:53,570 the kitchen where only you and you alone stand between your tiny, huddled family 88 00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:55,030 and insensate evil. 89 00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,220 As long as I got old blue. 90 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,840 What have we got here, folks? 91 00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:22,160 Well, we figure it's Black Bart, uh, Ralph. 92 00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:27,200 Well, it's just me and my trusty old Red Rider Carbine Action 2 on the shop 93 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,420 range model air rifle. 94 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,920 Lucky I got a compass and a stop. 95 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:33,900 Well, I think I better have a look here. No reason. 96 00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:06,210 Some men are Baptists, others Catholics. My father was an Oldsmobile man. A 97 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:10,130 bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator. 98 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,830 Little pitcher. 99 00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:32,470 Stupid Parnas. 100 00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:33,690 Dadgummit. 101 00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:39,890 Damn skates. 102 00:11:42,390 --> 00:11:46,690 Oh, for Christ's sake, open up that damper, will ya? Who the hell turned it 103 00:11:46,690 --> 00:11:47,750 the way down? Again? 104 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:49,870 Oh, blast it. 105 00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:55,970 Toot, flirt, rattle, smash, hammer, flirt. You blockhead, rattle, beast, 106 00:11:55,970 --> 00:11:56,970 -up, rat. 107 00:11:57,050 --> 00:12:03,560 In the heat of battle, My father wove a tapestry of 108 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:09,120 obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake 109 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:24,920 Preparing to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep -sea 110 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,660 My kid brother looked like a tick about to pop. 111 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,880 What? 112 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,540 What is it? 113 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,380 What is it? 114 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:05,120 What is it? I can't put my arms down. 115 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,080 Put 116 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:17,520 your 117 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:18,620 arms down when you get to school. 118 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,600 Just like I told you. Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything? 119 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,860 He knows because he once saw a guy come to a railroad track on a... 120 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,160 Flick, wait up. 121 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,720 I can't get up. 122 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,020 It's cold. 123 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,460 Come on. Get up. Sit up. 124 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:56,380 You're okay. Come on. Let's go. Come on. You're all right. 125 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:01,400 All 126 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:08,480 right, 127 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:09,840 everyone. Take your seats. 128 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:19,840 Good morning class. 129 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,280 Silas Marner. 130 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,420 That's cause you know it'll stick. 131 00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:36,560 You're full of it. Oh, yeah? 132 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,240 Yeah. Well, I double dog dare ya. 133 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:45,680 Now it was serious. A double dog dare. What else was left but a triple dare 134 00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:51,120 And finally, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple dog dare. 135 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,740 I triple dog dare ya. 136 00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:59,360 Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare 137 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,860 going right for the throat. 138 00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,180 All right, all right. 139 00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:22,500 Stiffened his lips curled in a defiant sneer. There was no going back now 140 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,740 He was at recess, wasn't he? 141 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,120 Ralphie, do you know where Flick is? 142 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,720 I said, has anyone seen Flick? 143 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:39,820 Yes, Esther Jane. 144 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,180 Oh, my God! 145 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:17,350 Now, I know that some of you put Fleck up to this. 146 00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:22,190 But he has refused to say who. 147 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,430 But those who did it know their blame. 148 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:36,190 And I'm sure that the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might 149 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:37,190 receive. 150 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,780 Now, don't you feel terrible? 151 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,660 Don't you feel remorse for what you have done? 152 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:52,240 Well, that's all I'm going to say about poor Flick. 153 00:20:55,440 --> 00:21:00,360 Adults love to say things like that. The kids know better. We knew darn well it 154 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,340 was always better not to get caught. 155 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,000 Now, boys and girls, I'm going to give you an assignment. 156 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,820 I want you to write... 157 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,120 I'll see. 158 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,160 What I want for Christmas. 159 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,900 Aha, the clouds lifted. 160 00:21:20,220 --> 00:21:25,800 And I want it handed in tomorrow morning. I saw a faint gleam of light at 161 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,620 other end of the black cave of doom. 162 00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:33,180 I knew that when Miss Shields read my magnificent, eloquent theme, that she 163 00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:37,780 would sympathize with my plight and everything would work out somehow. 164 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:24,680 Scut Farkas. Scut Farkas. What a rotten name. We were trapped. 165 00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,480 There he stood, between us and the alley. 166 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,100 Scut Farkas staring out at us with his yellow eyes. 167 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:34,840 He had yellow eyes, so help me God, yellow eyes. 168 00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:50,920 Grover Dill! 169 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:54,260 Farkas's crummy little toady. Mean, rotten. 170 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,880 His lips curled over his green teeth. 171 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,680 Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense. 172 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:06,180 In 173 00:23:06,180 --> 00:23:16,760 our 174 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:23,720 world, you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble 175 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,720 of victims. 176 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:54,430 kid to him, the mind switches gears rapidly. 177 00:23:55,570 --> 00:23:59,370 Weeks ago, I had sent away from my little orphan Annie secret society 178 00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:00,269 pin. 179 00:24:00,270 --> 00:24:01,570 Oh, skunked again. 180 00:24:02,410 --> 00:24:04,970 No matter. Today, I had serious work to do. 181 00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:07,070 What I want for Christmas. 182 00:24:07,930 --> 00:24:11,470 What I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass and a stock and 183 00:24:11,470 --> 00:24:12,490 this thing which tells time. 184 00:24:13,090 --> 00:24:14,090 Wow, that's great. 185 00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:17,250 I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder BB gun. 186 00:24:17,610 --> 00:24:19,030 They're very good for Christmas. 187 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,720 I don't think that football is a very good Christmas present. 188 00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:29,200 Oh, rarely get the words poured from my penny pencil with such feverish 189 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,200 fluidity. 190 00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:36,220 I won! 191 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,440 I won! I won! 192 00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:40,840 Get out of here, you... 193 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:46,980 Aha! 194 00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:50,220 The bumpus hounds! Da -da -da -da -da -da! 195 00:24:50,670 --> 00:24:55,290 Our hillbilly neighbors, the Bumpuses, had at least 785 smelly hound dogs. 196 00:24:55,610 --> 00:24:59,010 And they ignored every other human being on Earth but my old man. 197 00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:02,290 I won! 198 00:25:02,570 --> 00:25:03,570 I won! 199 00:25:03,610 --> 00:25:04,610 I won! 200 00:25:05,110 --> 00:25:08,790 I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! 201 00:25:09,330 --> 00:25:10,330 I won! I won! 202 00:25:10,390 --> 00:25:11,229 I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! 203 00:25:11,230 --> 00:25:12,830 I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! 204 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:14,589 I won! 205 00:25:14,590 --> 00:25:15,410 I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! 206 00:25:15,410 --> 00:25:16,209 won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! 207 00:25:16,210 --> 00:25:16,270 I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! 208 00:25:16,270 --> 00:25:16,549 won! I won! I won! 209 00:25:16,550 --> 00:25:17,610 I won 210 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,260 It means it's coming tonight. 211 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,720 I called Ernie McCloskey down at the freight depot. He said that the telegram 212 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,440 was late. The prize was already there. He was going to send it on tonight. 213 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,840 Go on, have a chew, fellas. You know, 214 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:37,320 maybe it'll be one of those Spanish adobe houses down at Coral Gate. 215 00:25:41,860 --> 00:25:43,560 Sir, is that right, you smelly buggers? 216 00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:46,220 Or it could be a bowling alley. 217 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,060 Do you know? Well, a guy will tear a hot bun in a bowling alley. 218 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:57,400 I could send the deed, for Christ's sake. I mean, I didn't expect they 219 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:58,480 send an old damn bowling alley. 220 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,580 Yeah, well, how about eating? I'm starving to death. 221 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,780 It's hard work, kid. Come on. 222 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:18,460 Every family has a kid who won't eat. My kid brother had not eaten voluntarily 223 00:26:18,460 --> 00:26:19,800 in over three years. 224 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,620 Randy, don't play with your food. Eat it. 225 00:26:28,260 --> 00:26:30,340 Starving people would be happy to have that. 226 00:26:30,740 --> 00:26:31,940 Can I have some more red cabbage? 227 00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:42,600 You stop playing with your food or I'll give you something to cry about. 228 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,460 You better stop fooling around with that and eat it or you'll be sorry. 229 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:52,979 Can I just have some more? 230 00:26:52,980 --> 00:26:57,120 My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years. 231 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,180 Meatloaf, meatloaf, double beetloaf. 232 00:27:02,380 --> 00:27:04,420 I hate meatloaf. 233 00:27:05,060 --> 00:27:06,060 All right. 234 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,900 All right, I'll get that kid to eat. 235 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,520 Where's my screwdriver and my plumber's helper? I'll open up his mouth and I'll 236 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:12,479 shove it in. 237 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,320 Randy. My mother was more subtle. 238 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,820 How do the little piggies go? 239 00:27:18,540 --> 00:27:19,540 That's right. 240 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,680 Oink, oink. 241 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,840 Now, show me how the piggies eat. This is your trough. 242 00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:27,320 Show me how the piggies eat. 243 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,060 Diddy boy, show mommy how the piggies eat. 244 00:28:34,990 --> 00:28:36,530 What is it? I don't know. 245 00:28:37,370 --> 00:28:38,370 What's in it? 246 00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:40,470 Here. Bring it in, huh? 247 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:44,250 Okay, boys. Haul that on in here. Move it, Charles. Yeah, yeah. Bring it right 248 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,250 on in. Right here. 249 00:28:45,370 --> 00:28:46,249 Bring it ahead. 250 00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:47,330 Straight ahead. That's right. 251 00:28:49,190 --> 00:28:50,190 Right. 252 00:28:50,330 --> 00:28:52,830 Okay, bring it right on in, fellas. That's it. There we go. 253 00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,250 A little more. 254 00:28:54,430 --> 00:28:55,430 A little more. 255 00:28:55,510 --> 00:28:56,510 That's it. 256 00:28:59,210 --> 00:29:00,210 Watch the lady. 257 00:29:09,649 --> 00:29:10,690 Thanks a lot, guys. 258 00:29:11,290 --> 00:29:12,290 Merry Christmas. 259 00:29:12,710 --> 00:29:14,710 Get the cool boy a hammer, Ralphie. 260 00:29:18,050 --> 00:29:19,050 Fragile. 261 00:29:19,270 --> 00:29:20,390 It must be Italian. 262 00:29:20,890 --> 00:29:22,810 I think that says fragile, honey. 263 00:29:23,190 --> 00:29:24,190 Oh, yeah. 264 00:29:26,170 --> 00:29:27,170 There you go. 265 00:29:30,690 --> 00:29:34,830 Gee, you really did a job on that, you know. 266 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,680 No, Harry. 267 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,840 Harry. 268 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,320 Harry. 269 00:29:49,980 --> 00:29:52,620 There could be anything in there. 270 00:29:53,660 --> 00:29:58,520 Maybe they forgot. 271 00:29:59,420 --> 00:30:01,060 It's in there. It's got to be in there. 272 00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:07,179 Oh, boy. 273 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:10,020 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Would you look at that? 274 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,320 Would you look at that? 275 00:30:15,820 --> 00:30:17,120 What is it? 276 00:30:18,380 --> 00:30:19,380 It's a leg. 277 00:30:20,300 --> 00:30:21,500 What is it? 278 00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:25,480 Well, it's a leg, you know, like in a statue. 279 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,960 Statue? Yeah, statue. 280 00:30:28,980 --> 00:30:30,560 Yeah, statue. 281 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,160 Ralphie. 282 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:36,480 My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue. 283 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,240 Holy smoke, will you? 284 00:30:38,740 --> 00:30:40,000 Do you know what this is? 285 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:44,260 This is a lamp. 286 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,160 It was indeed a lamp. 287 00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:47,460 Isn't that great? 288 00:30:47,780 --> 00:30:49,500 What a great lamp. 289 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:51,240 I don't know. 290 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,680 Hey, 291 00:30:53,540 --> 00:30:54,379 hold it. 292 00:30:54,380 --> 00:30:55,540 Hold it. Here, go on. 293 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,120 The old man's eyes buckled. Oh, wow. 294 00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:03,000 Overcome by art. And I know just the place for it. 295 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,200 Right in the middle of our front room window. 296 00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:33,760 No, it's all right. It's all right. It's all right. 297 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:35,960 Let's see. 298 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,580 This goes to the radio. 299 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:41,760 Well, 300 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,560 it's just one too many. 301 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:49,939 Let's see. 302 00:31:49,940 --> 00:31:55,100 The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in 303 00:31:55,100 --> 00:31:56,200 unparalleled glory. 304 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:57,920 Oh, look at that. 305 00:31:58,020 --> 00:32:00,540 Will you look at that innocent face. 306 00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:04,900 Gloria, it's indescribably beautiful. 307 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,780 It reminds me of the Fourth of July. 308 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,400 Turn off all the lights. I want to see what it looks like in the street. 309 00:32:11,020 --> 00:32:13,420 I'll go get the bedding. Can we talk this over? 310 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:18,200 Honey. 311 00:32:35,980 --> 00:32:37,500 To the right. Yeah, a little that way. 312 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,060 Just a little... A little more to the right. 313 00:32:43,060 --> 00:32:44,060 Yeah, more. 314 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,820 Yes, it does. Stop right there. That's wonderful. 315 00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:48,420 Hey, Parker, what is that? 316 00:32:49,380 --> 00:32:50,940 Don't bother me now, sweetie. You can't see I'm busy. 317 00:32:51,460 --> 00:32:52,460 Yeah, but what is that? 318 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:53,900 It's a major award. 319 00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:56,380 A major award? 320 00:32:57,860 --> 00:33:00,040 Shucks, I wouldn't have known, Dad. It looks like a lamp. 321 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,160 Well, it is a lamp, you nincompoop, but it's a major award. 322 00:33:03,660 --> 00:33:04,660 I want it. 323 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,100 Damn hell, you say you won it? 324 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,600 I have mind power, Sleeve, mind power. 325 00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:13,680 The entire neighborhood was turned on. 326 00:33:13,980 --> 00:33:16,600 Oh, you should see what it looks like from out here. 327 00:33:16,860 --> 00:33:21,320 It could be seen up and down Cleveland Street, the symbol of the old man's 328 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,540 victory. If he won that, it's a major award. 329 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,720 Isn't it about time for somebody's favorite radio program? 330 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,100 Yeah. Holy smokes, it was 645. 331 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,520 Only one thing in the world could have dragged me away from the soft glow of 332 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,480 electric sex gleaming in the window. 333 00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:41,640 Who's that little chatterbox? 334 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,140 The one with pretty auburn locks? 335 00:33:46,140 --> 00:33:47,340 Whom do you see? 336 00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:50,080 It's Little Orphan Annie. 337 00:33:50,420 --> 00:33:55,380 Kids, it's Little Orphan Annie time. Brought to you by Rich Chocolatey 338 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,520 I can still taste it. 339 00:34:18,060 --> 00:34:20,659 I knew I was handing Miss Shields a masterpiece. 340 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,460 Maybe Miss Shields, in her ecstasy, would excuse me from theme writing for 341 00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:26,639 rest of my natural life. 342 00:35:10,689 --> 00:35:15,890 Nothing. This theme I've been waiting for all my life. 343 00:35:16,410 --> 00:35:18,050 Listen to this sentence. 344 00:35:18,430 --> 00:35:25,070 A red rider be begun encompassing the stock and this 345 00:35:25,070 --> 00:35:26,670 thing. to do 346 00:36:23,150 --> 00:36:24,150 until you walk, Ralph. 347 00:36:24,770 --> 00:36:26,150 I'm just turning in my theme. 348 00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:30,770 Well, you can take your seat now. 349 00:36:34,050 --> 00:36:35,050 Take your seat. 350 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:14,880 My mother was about to make another brilliant maneuver in the legendary 351 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:20,620 of the Lamp. The epic struggle which followed lives in the folklore of 352 00:37:20,620 --> 00:37:22,280 Street to this very day. 353 00:37:22,580 --> 00:37:23,820 I don't want to waste electricity. 354 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,760 I don't want to waste electricity. 355 00:37:27,180 --> 00:37:28,640 Come on, Ralphie. Get in the car. 356 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:40,470 We got 300 trees here. This is the Christmas tree emporium. and the entire 357 00:37:40,470 --> 00:37:44,430 Midwest. Now, you ain't gonna find no better tree than this here tree. 358 00:37:44,910 --> 00:37:46,670 This here tree is built to last. 359 00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:48,590 Ain't no needles coming off this here tree. 360 00:37:52,410 --> 00:37:54,070 Okay. Now, here's a tree. 361 00:37:54,410 --> 00:37:55,790 This here is a tree. 362 00:37:56,550 --> 00:38:00,690 That's a little skimpy in the front there. Well, you just put it in the 363 00:38:01,010 --> 00:38:02,530 That means you got a big tree. 364 00:38:02,970 --> 00:38:04,750 Yeah. Hell, this ain't no tree. 365 00:38:05,050 --> 00:38:07,270 Now, here's a tree. This here is a tree. 366 00:38:07,790 --> 00:38:08,790 Uh -huh. 367 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,200 Don't you think it's a little large? 368 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,480 Christmas only comes once a year. Why not? Why not? 369 00:38:16,860 --> 00:38:20,140 How much? I'll knock off two bucks because I can see you're a man who knows 370 00:38:20,140 --> 00:38:24,680 trees. This isn't one of those trees that all the needles falls off, is it? 371 00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:25,700 that's some bosses. 372 00:38:25,900 --> 00:38:29,960 The old man loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader, and he was twice as 373 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:34,800 shrewd. You know, Zulach just bought one of those brand new green plastic trees. 374 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,120 Darn thing looks like it was made out of... 375 00:38:39,819 --> 00:38:41,140 Green pipe cleaners. 376 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,000 This is a very nice tree. 377 00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:47,580 I'll throw in some rope and tie it to your car for you. You got a deal. 378 00:38:48,580 --> 00:38:49,580 Deal. 379 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,200 always saw himself in the pits of the Indianapolis Speedway in the 500. 380 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:41,340 My old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic 381 00:39:41,340 --> 00:39:44,340 sense. They were round. They had once been made of rubber. 382 00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:51,960 Ralphie, why don't you go help your father? 383 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:53,880 Really? Can I? Yeah. 384 00:39:54,660 --> 00:39:56,360 Watch the traffic there. Okay. 385 00:39:57,830 --> 00:40:02,250 It was the first time that it had been suggested that I go help my father with 386 00:40:02,250 --> 00:40:03,250 anything. 387 00:40:06,630 --> 00:40:07,630 What are you doing here? 388 00:40:08,090 --> 00:40:10,430 Mom said I should help. Oh, yeah? 389 00:40:10,730 --> 00:40:12,670 Yeah. Okay, sit down here. Squat down. 390 00:40:16,090 --> 00:40:17,130 Here, hold this. 391 00:40:20,690 --> 00:40:21,690 No, 392 00:40:21,890 --> 00:40:24,170 not that way. Go on, come on. Pull it like this. 393 00:40:24,910 --> 00:40:27,950 Oh, like this. I want to put the nuts in it. Okay, there we go. 394 00:40:28,630 --> 00:40:31,010 And we got it. 395 00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:34,670 There we go. 396 00:40:40,270 --> 00:40:44,210 For one brief moment, I saw the both silhouetted against the lights of the 397 00:40:44,210 --> 00:40:45,590 traffic, and then they were gone. 398 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:55,160 Didn't say fudge. 399 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,040 I said the word. 400 00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,660 The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. 401 00:41:00,980 --> 00:41:04,500 The F dash dash dash word. What did you say? 402 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,560 That's what I thought you said. 403 00:41:13,180 --> 00:41:14,180 In the car. 404 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:19,160 Go on. 405 00:41:19,180 --> 00:41:21,220 It was all over. I was dead. 406 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:22,760 What would it be? 407 00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:27,480 The guillotine hanging, the chair, the rack, the Chinese water torture. 408 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,680 Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me. 409 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,020 Do you know what your son just said? 410 00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:58,640 No. What? 411 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:00,640 I'll tell you what he said. 412 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:01,840 Ready? 413 00:42:03,780 --> 00:42:04,780 Ah! 414 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:06,920 Sophie! 415 00:42:08,660 --> 00:42:13,100 Over the years, I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal 416 00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:17,880 is for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant, after -dinner flavor. 417 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:21,580 Heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. 418 00:42:25,310 --> 00:42:30,530 Life boy, on the other hand... You ready to tell me? 419 00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:38,750 All right. Where did you hear that word? 420 00:42:39,050 --> 00:42:42,350 Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. 421 00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:47,630 My father worked in profanity, the way other artists might work in oils or 422 00:42:47,770 --> 00:42:50,230 It was his true medium, a master. 423 00:42:50,890 --> 00:42:54,920 But... I chickened out, and I blurted out the first name that came to mind. 424 00:42:55,260 --> 00:42:56,260 Schwartz! 425 00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,040 Oh, I see. 426 00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:05,240 Hello, 427 00:43:11,540 --> 00:43:12,540 Mrs. Schwartz? 428 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:13,960 Yes, I'm fine. 429 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:17,900 Mrs. Schwartz, do you know what Ralph just said? 430 00:43:21,240 --> 00:43:25,400 He said... No, not that. 431 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:27,440 Yes, that. 432 00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:29,080 Do you know where he heard it? 433 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:30,560 Probably from his father. 434 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,300 No, he heard it from your son. 435 00:43:33,540 --> 00:43:34,540 What? 436 00:43:53,490 --> 00:43:55,350 mysterious, inexorable, official justice. 437 00:43:55,950 --> 00:43:57,310 Rinse up and go to bed. 438 00:43:58,150 --> 00:44:00,590 Oh, am I glad you finished your homework this afternoon. 439 00:44:00,870 --> 00:44:04,070 I want you getting right into bed, and I don't want to see any lights on. You 440 00:44:04,070 --> 00:44:06,370 are being punished, so no comic book reading. 441 00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:10,170 I'm going to come in there, and if there are any lights on, don't you give me 442 00:44:10,170 --> 00:44:11,470 that look. You're going to get it. 443 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,120 Three blocks away, Schwartz was getting his. 444 00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:43,260 There has never been a kid who didn't believe, vaguely but insistently, that 445 00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:47,600 would be stricken blind before he reached 21, and then they'd be sorry. 446 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,120 Ralph, where you been? 447 00:45:08,780 --> 00:45:12,800 Ralph, he's carrying a cage. What is it, Ralph? What happened? 448 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,560 Ralph, he's flying. 449 00:45:15,140 --> 00:45:16,920 Flying? Oh, my God. 450 00:45:17,900 --> 00:45:18,900 Ralph, 451 00:45:19,620 --> 00:45:24,600 is it something we did? What brought you to this lonely stage? 452 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:29,000 Ralph, please tell us no matter how it hurts. What did we do? 453 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:30,560 No, I... 454 00:45:30,780 --> 00:45:35,000 I can't. Oh, please, North, I must know what we did. What brought you to this? 455 00:45:35,180 --> 00:45:36,500 Please. Please. 456 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:38,860 Please? 457 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,200 It... It... It was? 458 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:43,640 Yes. 459 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,400 Yes. So... Poisoning. 460 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,400 Oh! 461 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:56,360 How can we do it? 462 00:45:56,660 --> 00:45:58,640 Well, I'll manage to get along. 463 00:45:59,950 --> 00:46:02,450 Somehow. I'll never forget myself. 464 00:46:02,870 --> 00:46:03,870 Thanks, Mom. 465 00:46:03,910 --> 00:46:05,770 I told you not to use life, boy. 466 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,860 thought that you'd be getting tired of the same old stuff. 467 00:47:09,100 --> 00:47:12,580 Yes, truly, a little bribe never hurts. 468 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,600 Well, thank you very much, Ralph. 469 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:21,280 Merry Christmas. 470 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,880 Happy New Year. 471 00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:30,620 You can take your seat now, Ralph. 472 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:58,800 The weeks of drinking gallons of Ovaltine in order to get the Ovaltine 473 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:04,220 seal to send off for my little orphan Annie's secret decoder pen was about to 474 00:48:04,220 --> 00:48:05,220 pay off. 475 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:06,400 I got it. 476 00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,260 Master Ralph Park... 477 00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,960 known to all and sundry that Ralph Parker has hereby appointed a member of 478 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,460 Little Orphan Annie secret circle and is entitled to all the honors and benefits 479 00:48:28,460 --> 00:48:29,540 occurring thereto. 480 00:48:30,740 --> 00:48:32,440 Signed, Little Orphan Annie. 481 00:48:33,420 --> 00:48:36,280 Countersigned, Pierre Andre in ink. 482 00:48:37,020 --> 00:48:39,680 Honors and benefits already at the age of nine. 483 00:48:44,300 --> 00:48:49,780 Come on, let's get on with it. I don't need all that jazz about smugglers and 484 00:48:49,780 --> 00:48:50,780 pirates. 485 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,960 Tomorrow night for the concluding adventure of the Black Pirate Ship. 486 00:48:56,240 --> 00:49:01,400 Now it's time for Annie's secret message for you members of the secret circle. 487 00:49:02,220 --> 00:49:07,960 Remember, kids, only members of Annie's secret circle can decode Annie's secret 488 00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:12,160 message. Remember, Annie is depending on you. 489 00:49:12,540 --> 00:49:14,760 Set your pins to B2. 490 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,080 Here is the message. 491 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,940 12, 11, 2. I am in. 492 00:49:20,350 --> 00:49:21,990 My first secret meeting. 493 00:49:26,090 --> 00:49:30,110 Pierre was in great voice tonight. I could tell that tonight's message was 494 00:49:30,110 --> 00:49:31,110 really important. 495 00:49:33,510 --> 00:49:36,690 That's a message from Annie herself. Remember, don't tell anyone. 496 00:49:41,410 --> 00:49:45,430 Ninety seconds later, I'm in the only room in the house where a boy of nine 497 00:49:45,430 --> 00:49:47,950 could sit in privacy and decode. 498 00:49:49,930 --> 00:49:50,930 Aha, B. 499 00:49:51,890 --> 00:49:53,270 I went to the next. 500 00:49:53,690 --> 00:49:56,350 E. The first word is B. 501 00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:59,010 S. It was coming easier now. 502 00:49:59,490 --> 00:50:00,490 U. 503 00:50:01,690 --> 00:50:02,690 That's right. 504 00:50:04,990 --> 00:50:06,710 I'll be right down, Bob. 505 00:50:07,090 --> 00:50:08,090 G. 506 00:50:11,290 --> 00:50:12,290 O. 507 00:50:13,790 --> 00:50:16,330 Be sure to. Be sure to what? 508 00:50:16,810 --> 00:50:21,130 What was little orphan Andy trying to say? Be sure to what? Andy has got to 509 00:50:21,230 --> 00:50:23,430 Will you please come out? All right, Ma. 510 00:50:23,630 --> 00:50:24,650 I'll be right out. 511 00:50:25,510 --> 00:50:28,810 I was getting closer now. The tension was terrible. 512 00:50:29,110 --> 00:50:32,290 What was it? The fate of the planet may hang in the balance. 513 00:50:33,730 --> 00:50:34,750 Andy's got to go. 514 00:50:35,930 --> 00:50:38,350 I'll be right out. Find out now. 515 00:50:39,030 --> 00:50:40,390 She's almost there. 516 00:50:40,610 --> 00:50:43,630 My fingers flew. My mind was a steel trap. 517 00:50:43,850 --> 00:50:45,350 Every pore vibrated. 518 00:50:45,740 --> 00:50:49,520 It was almost clear. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 519 00:50:49,900 --> 00:50:54,620 Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. 520 00:50:55,900 --> 00:50:56,900 Ovaltine? 521 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,840 A crummy commercial? 522 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,240 Son of a bitch. 523 00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:10,640 I went out to face the world again. 524 00:51:11,220 --> 00:51:12,220 Wiser. 525 00:51:45,980 --> 00:51:51,640 What happened next was a family controversy for years. 526 00:52:20,300 --> 00:52:24,360 I was watering my plant and I broke your lamp. 527 00:52:39,060 --> 00:52:41,360 You touch that! 528 00:52:42,740 --> 00:52:44,780 You are always jealous of this lamp. 529 00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,020 Jealous of a plastic lamp? Jealous! 530 00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:50,580 Jealous because I won. 531 00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:53,500 That's ridiculous. 532 00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:55,460 Jealous. Jealous of what? 533 00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:02,080 That is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire life. 534 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:03,680 Now it was out. 535 00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:05,480 Get the glue. 536 00:53:06,300 --> 00:53:12,980 We're out of glue. You use up all the 537 00:53:12,980 --> 00:53:15,160 glue on purpose. 538 00:53:17,230 --> 00:53:21,490 The old man stood quivering with fury, stammering as he tried to come up with a 539 00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,490 real crusher. 540 00:53:22,550 --> 00:53:24,670 All he got out was, Not a finger! 541 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:10,800 With as much dignity as he could muster, the old man gathered up the sad remains 542 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:12,500 of his shattered major award. 543 00:54:14,300 --> 00:54:19,320 Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. 544 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:24,940 Now, I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of taps 545 00:54:24,940 --> 00:54:25,940 played. 546 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:27,200 Gently. 547 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:29,780 You want to get my own man for Christmas? No, what? 548 00:54:30,060 --> 00:54:32,360 A roasted squirt. People come to smell it. 549 00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:36,460 It squirts him. I'm getting my own man a foot gun. Oh, really? Foot gun. 550 00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:37,940 Run! 551 00:54:38,660 --> 00:54:39,660 Run! 552 00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:41,580 Stop right there. 553 00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:47,300 Gee, ordinarily, if Dill so much as said hi to you, you felt great warm inside. 554 00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:51,120 But mostly, he just hit you in the mouth. I can't now, Grover. 555 00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:52,720 I've got to go see Michelle. 556 00:55:05,580 --> 00:55:07,580 left flick to certain annihilation. 557 00:55:08,180 --> 00:55:11,960 But B .B. Gunmania knows no loyalties. 558 00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:13,198 Uncle! Uncle! 559 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,200 Uncle! 560 00:55:14,540 --> 00:55:15,540 Uncle! 561 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:19,880 All right, class. 562 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,840 I have your Christmas themes for you. 563 00:55:23,940 --> 00:55:24,940 I'm pleased. 564 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,260 In general, you did very well. 565 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:35,360 Disappointed in the margin. 566 00:55:36,720 --> 00:55:38,400 Oh, this is it. 567 00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:44,220 C plus. Oh, no, it can't be. C plus. 568 00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:45,800 C plus. 569 00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:48,380 C plus. 570 00:55:50,220 --> 00:55:55,200 Oh, no. 571 00:55:56,820 --> 00:55:58,560 You'll shoot your eye out. 572 00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:04,560 My mother must have gotten to Miss Shields. There could be no other 573 00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:08,480 You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out! 574 00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:16,820 Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder 575 00:56:16,820 --> 00:56:17,900 and his peacemaker? 576 00:56:18,140 --> 00:56:22,700 These multiplication questions were most missed in our last math test. Could you 577 00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:23,940 answer in unison, please? 578 00:56:24,300 --> 00:56:28,220 I was surrounded by happier kids who were all going to get what they wanted 579 00:56:28,220 --> 00:56:29,220 Christmas. 580 00:57:13,770 --> 00:57:17,450 Listen, jerk, when I tell you to come, you better come. 581 00:57:19,110 --> 00:57:21,310 What, are you going to cry now? 582 00:57:21,610 --> 00:57:26,370 Come on, cry, baby, cry for me. Come on, cry. 583 00:57:27,530 --> 00:57:32,070 Deep in the recesses of my brain, a tiny red -hot little flame began to grow. 584 00:57:48,170 --> 00:57:51,270 A fuse blew, and I had gone out of my skull. 585 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,260 People under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. 586 00:58:43,500 --> 00:58:48,760 I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all 587 00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,020 kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed. 588 00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:20,120 We're going home. 589 00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:50,960 Come on, let's get down in here. 590 00:59:52,100 --> 00:59:53,640 Just settle down. 591 00:59:54,600 --> 01:00:00,220 I want you to go in there and lie down in your room for a while. 592 01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,200 Ralphie, just settle down. 593 01:00:06,140 --> 01:00:07,140 Here, 594 01:00:07,660 --> 01:00:08,660 dry off. 595 01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:10,080 Calm down. 596 01:00:11,300 --> 01:00:12,900 All right, now go lie down. 597 01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:38,460 The light was getting purple and soft outside. Almost time for my father to 598 01:00:38,460 --> 01:00:39,460 home from work. 599 01:00:49,980 --> 01:00:50,980 Randy! 600 01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:57,740 Hi. 601 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:00,320 What's the matter? 602 01:01:00,340 --> 01:01:01,400 What are you crying for? 603 01:01:05,770 --> 01:01:06,790 No, he's not. 604 01:01:07,050 --> 01:01:08,210 Yes, he is, too. 605 01:01:08,450 --> 01:01:14,070 No, he's not. I promise you, Daddy is not going to kill Ralphie. 606 01:01:14,750 --> 01:01:16,290 Why don't you come on out of there? 607 01:01:17,530 --> 01:01:18,530 No? 608 01:01:19,810 --> 01:01:21,050 Would you like some milk? 609 01:01:23,030 --> 01:01:24,030 You would? 610 01:01:28,770 --> 01:01:32,010 Here you go. 611 01:01:35,790 --> 01:01:36,790 I'll see you later? 612 01:01:37,210 --> 01:01:38,450 Okay. Bye -bye. 613 01:01:50,730 --> 01:01:55,150 I heard the car roar up the driveway, and a wave of terror broke over me. 614 01:01:55,150 --> 01:01:57,770 know what I said, the awful things that I said. 615 01:01:58,110 --> 01:02:00,210 Get out of here. Go on. Get out of here. 616 01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:05,960 Bumpers, get over here and get... 617 01:02:34,860 --> 01:02:35,860 Where's your glasses? 618 01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:38,700 Did you lose your glasses again? 619 01:02:38,940 --> 01:02:40,060 Uh, Ralphie? 620 01:02:40,940 --> 01:02:46,500 Remember, um, you left these on the radio again. Try not to do that anymore. 621 01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,320 So what else happened today? 622 01:02:50,060 --> 01:02:51,820 Oh, nothing much. 623 01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:53,780 Ralphie had a fight. 624 01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:55,440 A fight? 625 01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:56,800 What kind of a fight? 626 01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:01,360 Oh, you know, how boys are. 627 01:03:03,260 --> 01:03:04,560 Gave him a talking to. 628 01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:09,380 I see that the Bears are playing Green Bay on Sunday. 629 01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,540 Oh, yeah, yeah. Zudoff's got tickets. I wish I had them. 630 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,080 Oh, well, there's pieces of key straw up out there. 631 01:03:18,540 --> 01:03:23,280 I slowly began to realize I was not about to be destroyed. 632 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,040 The Chicago Bears. 633 01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:31,460 Terror of the Midway. From then on, things were different between me and my 634 01:03:31,460 --> 01:03:32,460 mother. 635 01:03:34,380 --> 01:03:38,640 More like Chicago Chipmunks, maybe, but bears, never. 636 01:03:40,700 --> 01:03:46,600 Strange. Even something as monumental as the Scott -Farkas affair, as it came to 637 01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:50,760 be known, was pushed out of my mind as I struggled for a way out of the 638 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:54,960 impenetrable BB gun web in which my mother had me trapped. 639 01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:56,360 Santa! 640 01:03:57,020 --> 01:03:58,580 Yeah, uh, Santa! 641 01:03:59,420 --> 01:04:01,180 Of course, Santa! 642 01:04:01,480 --> 01:04:03,740 The big man! The head honcho! 643 01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:05,120 The connection. 644 01:04:05,220 --> 01:04:07,360 My mother had slipped up this time. 645 01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:13,400 I'll be. 646 01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:16,580 Look over there. See, the line's not so long. 647 01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:20,720 You can go get in it. Now take Andy's hand and hold on to him. We'll see you 648 01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:22,680 later, okay? Yeah, yeah, stay together. Don't get lost. 649 01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:23,960 Okay. 650 01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:28,340 And what do you want? Come on. 651 01:06:28,780 --> 01:06:29,780 Let's go. 652 01:06:33,340 --> 01:06:34,340 Young man. 653 01:06:35,060 --> 01:06:36,060 Hey, kid. 654 01:06:36,620 --> 01:06:38,060 Where do you think you're going? 655 01:06:38,540 --> 01:06:39,680 I'm going up to see Sam. 656 01:06:40,740 --> 01:06:42,440 The line ends here. 657 01:07:00,029 --> 01:07:04,810 The line waiting to see Santa Claus stretched all the way back to Terre 658 01:07:05,890 --> 01:07:07,770 And I was at the end of it. 659 01:07:12,860 --> 01:07:13,860 Yeah. 660 01:07:16,580 --> 01:07:21,740 Let's face it, most of us were scoffers, but moments before zero hour, it did 661 01:07:21,740 --> 01:07:23,460 not pay to take chances. 662 01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:36,920 Don't bother me. 663 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:38,580 I'm thinking. 664 01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:47,520 Yeah. 665 01:07:48,460 --> 01:07:50,260 I like to tune in. 666 01:07:54,660 --> 01:07:58,240 If Higby thinks I'm working one minute past nine, he can kiss my foot. 667 01:08:00,260 --> 01:08:02,660 Come on up on Santa's lap. 668 01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:04,000 Here's a wet one. 669 01:08:04,620 --> 01:08:06,940 And what's your name, little boy? 670 01:08:07,820 --> 01:08:09,200 Come on, Randy. 671 01:08:10,940 --> 01:08:12,460 And what do you want for Christmas? 672 01:08:27,399 --> 01:08:31,700 Tapioca. Oh, Merry Christmas. 673 01:08:32,279 --> 01:08:36,520 Merry Christmas. Nine o 'clock. Great Scott. The store is going to close. 674 01:08:37,380 --> 01:08:39,680 Santa can't wait. Oh, Merry Christmas. 675 01:08:40,359 --> 01:08:42,420 Come on up. I'm Santa Claus. 676 01:08:58,380 --> 01:08:59,380 the pole! 677 01:10:00,270 --> 01:10:02,550 What do you want for Christmas, little boy? 678 01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:05,250 My mind had gone blank. 679 01:10:05,490 --> 01:10:09,390 Frantically, I tried to remember what it was I wanted. I was blowing it, blowing 680 01:10:09,390 --> 01:10:11,250 it. Come on, kid. 681 01:10:12,110 --> 01:10:14,990 How about a nice football? 682 01:10:15,570 --> 01:10:16,770 Football? Football? 683 01:10:17,230 --> 01:10:18,230 What's a football? 684 01:10:19,090 --> 01:10:22,010 Without conscious will, my voice squeaked out. Football. 685 01:10:23,010 --> 01:10:24,610 Okay, get him out of here. 686 01:10:25,270 --> 01:10:26,270 A football? 687 01:10:26,310 --> 01:10:27,310 Oh, no. 688 01:10:27,350 --> 01:10:28,590 What was I doing? 689 01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:29,900 Wake up, stupid! 690 01:10:30,340 --> 01:10:31,500 Wake up! No! 691 01:11:23,150 --> 01:11:24,490 Have you been a good boy out here? 692 01:11:25,570 --> 01:11:26,570 No. 693 01:11:27,170 --> 01:11:28,170 Don't worry. 694 01:11:28,570 --> 01:11:29,570 He knows. 695 01:11:29,930 --> 01:11:31,790 He always knows. 696 01:11:32,510 --> 01:11:35,770 Merry Christmas! 697 01:11:38,090 --> 01:11:40,150 Okay, down you go. 698 01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:14,700 Hey, see, I told you it was green. 699 01:12:17,300 --> 01:12:19,620 Hold it! Don't anybody move! 700 01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:22,180 Hold it right there! 701 01:12:22,780 --> 01:12:24,360 A fuse is out. 702 01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:29,680 The old man could replace fuses quicker than a jackrabbit on a date. He bought 703 01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:30,680 them by the gross. 704 01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:49,660 crooked. That star is perfectly straight. 705 01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:50,920 No, 706 01:12:51,420 --> 01:12:52,239 it's all right. 707 01:12:52,240 --> 01:12:59,200 I am, I am. Come on. Just let me get it fixed. All 708 01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,200 right. 709 01:13:01,980 --> 01:13:02,980 Yes. 710 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:04,680 Hey! 711 01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:17,480 hasn't had to pass up this house just because some boys weren't in bed when he 712 01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:21,560 came by. Yeah, I thought I heard Santa's sleigh bells a little while ago going 713 01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:22,560 up the other side of the street. 714 01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:25,340 All right, you two, upstairs. 715 01:13:25,620 --> 01:13:26,620 Come on. 716 01:14:43,129 --> 01:14:44,250 Wow! Randy! 717 01:14:44,770 --> 01:14:46,810 Randy, come on! Get up, Randy! 718 01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:59,160 Santa Claus had come. 719 01:15:40,870 --> 01:15:41,870 Christmas. 720 01:15:42,810 --> 01:15:44,710 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 721 01:15:46,030 --> 01:15:49,050 Now, oh, Randy, now, wait for Christmas to start, honey. 722 01:15:49,370 --> 01:15:52,610 I want to play Santa. I want to play Santa. Well, wait a minute, Randy. You 723 01:15:52,610 --> 01:15:55,750 played Santa. You played Santa last year, didn't you? Yeah. Now, Ralphie, 724 01:15:55,750 --> 01:15:56,830 play Santa this time. 725 01:15:57,270 --> 01:15:58,930 Well, who should I start with? 726 01:15:59,170 --> 01:16:05,250 Well, give Randy a present. And, um, and I think I see Aunt Clara's gift to you 727 01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:09,250 right over there. She always sends you such wonderful presents, Ralphie. Give 728 01:16:09,250 --> 01:16:10,250 that. 729 01:16:28,780 --> 01:16:30,200 Christmas had come, officially. 730 01:16:30,820 --> 01:16:35,560 We plunged into the cornucopia, quivering with desire and the ecstasy of 731 01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:38,160 unbridled avarice. Didn't I get a tie this year? 732 01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:44,000 Wow! 733 01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:46,040 Whoopee! A sibling! 734 01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:48,880 A can of Simon Eyes. 735 01:16:49,620 --> 01:16:51,720 Ralphie, what did Aunt Clary give you? Show everybody. 736 01:16:58,120 --> 01:16:59,120 I don't want to. 737 01:16:59,420 --> 01:17:01,780 Ralphie, show everybody what Aunt Clara gave you. 738 01:17:02,140 --> 01:17:06,720 Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only 739 01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:10,180 perpetually four years old, but also a girl. 740 01:17:10,560 --> 01:17:14,300 She just always gives you the nicest things, Ralphie. 741 01:17:17,020 --> 01:17:18,020 Oh, my. 742 01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,960 Oh, isn't that sweet? 743 01:17:22,290 --> 01:17:27,050 Ralph, go upstairs and try it on. I don't want to. Go upstairs right now and 744 01:17:27,050 --> 01:17:30,170 on that present. She went to all that trouble to make it. Now go on. 745 01:17:35,230 --> 01:17:41,890 While Ralphie is changing, I'm going to play 746 01:17:41,890 --> 01:17:42,890 Santa Claus. 747 01:17:43,170 --> 01:17:44,750 Let me see. What can I find? 748 01:17:45,070 --> 01:17:46,350 Oh, I see something. 749 01:17:47,630 --> 01:17:49,630 Randy, this is for you, honey. 750 01:17:50,730 --> 01:17:52,870 Oh. And this is for Daddy. 751 01:17:54,770 --> 01:17:55,770 Here. 752 01:17:56,730 --> 01:17:58,030 From me to you. 753 01:18:00,870 --> 01:18:01,870 Thanks a lot. 754 01:18:03,450 --> 01:18:05,110 I wonder what it could be. 755 01:18:06,430 --> 01:18:08,690 Only one way to find out, isn't there? 756 01:18:09,690 --> 01:18:11,570 Well, it's a blue ball. 757 01:18:12,610 --> 01:18:15,470 Oh, it's a bowling ball. 758 01:18:16,110 --> 01:18:19,510 Thank you, darling. Thank you. Yes, very much. 759 01:18:19,890 --> 01:18:20,890 Very much. 760 01:18:21,860 --> 01:18:23,780 Ralphie! We're waiting! 761 01:18:24,760 --> 01:18:26,300 Oh, come on, Mom. 762 01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:27,840 Right now! 763 01:18:36,680 --> 01:18:37,680 Immediately, 764 01:18:39,220 --> 01:18:43,360 my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies with the blue 765 01:18:43,360 --> 01:18:45,340 eyes stared sappily up at me. 766 01:18:46,220 --> 01:18:49,060 Come down here so I can see you better. 767 01:18:50,000 --> 01:18:53,640 I just hope that Flick would never spot him, as the word of this humiliation 768 01:18:53,640 --> 01:18:57,440 could easily make life at Warren G. Harning's school a veritable hell. 769 01:18:58,140 --> 01:19:04,900 Oh, isn't that cute? That is the most precious thing I've ever seen in my 770 01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:10,220 He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny. 771 01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:13,040 He does not. 772 01:19:13,320 --> 01:19:15,440 He does, too. He looks like a pink nightmare. 773 01:19:16,040 --> 01:19:17,600 Are you happy wearing that? 774 01:19:18,660 --> 01:19:19,680 Do you want to take it off? 775 01:19:20,140 --> 01:19:23,060 Tell the kid to take it off. All right, you'll only wear it when Aunt Clara 776 01:19:23,060 --> 01:19:25,180 visits. Go on and take it off. Take it off! 777 01:19:29,420 --> 01:19:31,200 My God, would you look at that mess. 778 01:19:31,940 --> 01:19:33,320 Who's going to clean the papers up? 779 01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:34,560 Not me. 780 01:19:34,660 --> 01:19:35,478 Oh, no? 781 01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:37,020 No. Granny did it last year. 782 01:19:37,260 --> 01:19:38,260 Well, you can do it again. 783 01:19:39,060 --> 01:19:42,080 Well, this wine's not bad. 784 01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:44,200 It's not good either, but do you want a sip? 785 01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:46,120 Yeah. No, you don't. 786 01:19:48,170 --> 01:19:49,170 Nice Christmas? 787 01:19:49,370 --> 01:19:51,730 Yeah, pretty nice. Did you get everything you wanted? 788 01:19:53,210 --> 01:19:54,210 Almost. 789 01:19:54,530 --> 01:19:55,530 Almost, huh? 790 01:19:55,690 --> 01:19:57,530 Well, that's life. 791 01:19:58,110 --> 01:19:59,630 Well, there's always next Christmas. 792 01:20:00,150 --> 01:20:01,150 Yeah. 793 01:20:02,110 --> 01:20:03,950 Hey, that's funny. 794 01:20:05,130 --> 01:20:06,630 What's that over there behind the desk? 795 01:20:08,030 --> 01:20:10,790 Where? Behind the desk against the wall over there. 796 01:20:13,690 --> 01:20:14,710 Why don't you go check it out? 797 01:20:32,330 --> 01:20:35,270 What have you put over there, honey? I was going to tell you. Santa Claus 798 01:20:35,270 --> 01:20:36,270 probably brought it. 799 01:21:15,690 --> 01:21:16,830 hardly wait to try it out. 800 01:21:17,930 --> 01:21:19,210 Did you not load it? 801 01:21:19,750 --> 01:21:20,750 Yeah. 802 01:21:23,230 --> 01:21:24,230 That's right. 803 01:21:32,230 --> 01:21:33,230 Careful. 804 01:21:33,750 --> 01:21:34,850 They run all over. 805 01:21:41,870 --> 01:21:43,250 Close it up. Close it up. 806 01:21:44,880 --> 01:21:46,000 Can I try it out, Ma? Can't I? 807 01:21:47,800 --> 01:21:49,680 Okay, but outside. 808 01:21:50,060 --> 01:21:51,880 Oh, I still say those things are dangerous. 809 01:21:52,860 --> 01:21:56,040 No, no. Put on your galoshes and your coat. It's cold out. 810 01:21:58,160 --> 01:22:01,960 I had one when I was eight years old. 811 01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:04,260 What if he hurts himself? 812 01:22:04,500 --> 01:22:05,500 Tell me! Your coat! 813 01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:10,780 Don't shoot any animals or birds. Except the bumpus' dog. 814 01:22:11,220 --> 01:22:14,020 Oh, my gosh. Be careful, Ralphie. 815 01:22:15,210 --> 01:22:20,090 Now it is well known throughout the Midwest that the old man is a turkey 816 01:22:20,530 --> 01:22:23,530 A bonafide golly turkicanus freak. 817 01:22:23,810 --> 01:22:27,970 A few days before Christmas, his eyes would begin to gleam with a wild and 818 01:22:27,970 --> 01:22:28,970 ravenous light. 819 01:22:33,450 --> 01:22:37,850 Okay, Black Bart, now you get yours. 820 01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:55,460 Oh, my God, I shot my eye out. You'll shoot your eye out, kid. 821 01:22:55,900 --> 01:22:59,860 You'll shoot your eye out. You'll shoot your eye out. 822 01:23:01,300 --> 01:23:05,200 Ralphie, you be careful out there. Don't shoot your eye out. She hadn't seen. 823 01:23:05,460 --> 01:23:06,460 She didn't know. 824 01:23:06,980 --> 01:23:09,500 My eye's all right. The BB must have hit my glasses. 825 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:14,020 My glasses. Oh, no, where are my glasses? 826 01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:19,880 Few things brought such swift and terrible retribution on a kid as a pair 827 01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:20,880 busted glasses. 828 01:23:44,390 --> 01:23:45,390 Oh, no. 829 01:23:45,610 --> 01:23:46,610 Pulverized. 830 01:23:52,710 --> 01:23:53,710 Oh, no. 831 01:23:57,910 --> 01:24:01,750 For a moment, I thought, I'll fake it. They'll never know the lens is gone. 832 01:24:03,610 --> 01:24:04,610 Oh, no. 833 01:24:05,070 --> 01:24:07,530 Rapidly, my mind evolved a spectacular plot. 834 01:24:07,910 --> 01:24:08,910 Let's see. 835 01:24:09,090 --> 01:24:13,830 An icicle, yeah, falls off the garage and hits me in the eye. It would work. 836 01:24:14,090 --> 01:24:15,090 It had to work. 837 01:24:15,290 --> 01:24:16,910 Quickly, I whipped up some tears. 838 01:24:17,890 --> 01:24:18,890 Ralphie? 839 01:24:23,710 --> 01:24:24,710 What's the matter, honey? 840 01:24:25,270 --> 01:24:28,070 What happened? What is it? Let me see that. What is it? 841 01:24:29,270 --> 01:24:30,270 What? 842 01:24:36,570 --> 01:24:37,570 No, it's okay. 843 01:24:37,750 --> 01:24:38,750 Just reach your funny. 844 01:24:39,530 --> 01:24:40,530 All right. 845 01:24:41,550 --> 01:24:42,550 Randy? 846 01:24:43,430 --> 01:24:44,430 Wake up, Randy. 847 01:24:49,270 --> 01:24:50,270 Good. 848 01:24:51,030 --> 01:24:52,030 My teeth! 849 01:24:52,370 --> 01:24:53,890 I broke my glasses. 850 01:24:54,550 --> 01:24:56,690 I tried to get out of the way. 851 01:24:59,250 --> 01:25:00,610 Oh, see? 852 01:25:00,830 --> 01:25:02,330 It's just a little bump. 853 01:25:02,770 --> 01:25:03,790 Oh, see? 854 01:25:04,470 --> 01:25:08,030 You're lucky it didn't cut your eye. Those icicles have been known to kill 855 01:25:08,030 --> 01:25:09,030 people. 856 01:25:14,890 --> 01:25:15,890 What's going on up there? 857 01:25:16,190 --> 01:25:18,030 Nothing. We'll be right down. 858 01:25:18,250 --> 01:25:21,910 You stay away from that turkey. It's got an hour to cook. You'll get worms. 859 01:25:27,510 --> 01:25:28,950 But what about my glasses? 860 01:25:29,430 --> 01:25:32,990 Well, you can wear the old ones with the crack in them until we get you some new 861 01:25:32,990 --> 01:25:38,270 ones. I had pulled it off. 862 01:25:39,850 --> 01:25:41,310 But I left my gun outside. 863 01:25:41,890 --> 01:25:42,890 Yeah, well... 864 01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:47,080 When you get dressed, you can go out, get your gun. You can't hold that on 865 01:25:47,080 --> 01:25:48,080 there. 866 01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:49,700 Life is like that. 867 01:25:50,260 --> 01:25:55,480 Sometimes at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its 868 01:25:55,480 --> 01:26:01,320 all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon 869 01:26:01,320 --> 01:26:02,320 us. 870 01:26:20,280 --> 01:26:23,140 oh my god 871 01:26:52,810 --> 01:26:57,710 Alma still hung heavy in the house, but it was gone, all gone. No turkey, no 872 01:26:57,710 --> 01:27:02,550 turkey sandwiches, no turkey salad, no turkey gravy, turkey hash, turkey a la 873 01:27:02,550 --> 01:27:05,910 king, or gallons of turkey soup. Gone, all gone. 874 01:27:10,630 --> 01:27:14,050 All right, everybody upstairs, get dressed. 875 01:27:16,570 --> 01:27:18,570 We are going out to eat. 876 01:27:40,200 --> 01:27:41,940 No, no, no. 877 01:27:43,100 --> 01:27:47,120 No, no, no, no. Not rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. La, la, la, la, la. 878 01:27:47,460 --> 01:27:48,460 Sing like this. 879 01:27:48,980 --> 01:27:52,360 Deck the halls with boughs of holly. 880 01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:55,840 But you see, it's smiling at 881 01:28:55,840 --> 01:28:56,840 me. 882 01:28:58,820 --> 01:28:59,820 Okay? 883 01:29:04,040 --> 01:29:05,300 Beautiful. Yeah, yeah. 884 01:29:06,860 --> 01:29:12,540 That Christmas would live in our memories as the Christmas when we were 885 01:29:12,540 --> 01:29:14,100 introduced to Chinese turkey. 886 01:29:15,520 --> 01:29:17,240 Always right with the world. 887 01:30:30,440 --> 01:30:35,580 Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty, the greatest 888 01:30:35,580 --> 01:30:38,580 Christmas gift I had ever received or would ever receive. 889 01:30:40,160 --> 01:30:44,420 Gradually I drifted off to sleep, pranging ducks on the wing and getting 890 01:30:44,420 --> 01:30:45,740 spectacular hip shots.